Tuesday, October 20, 2009


I don't know if I thought my Master's classes would be easy, or if I just didn't think about it at all. I must've just assumed, "Hey, one year, half price---do it!" That's very unlike me. I mean, not that I usually go for the long expensive route, but that I'd jump into something without thinking through all the work that goes into it. Normally, I think it through, and then throw the idea in my mental trash can immediately. I confess: I do not like work, not in the least.

I've completed one course so far, I'm working on a second course--which is really two courses in one, and also working on a large semester project that counts as an entire course. Along with that, I am working full time in my normal 4th grade teaching job. I made that sound really grueling, but truthfully, the workload isn't as overwhelming as it sounds. I just like to be a bit dramatic once in a while. Dramatic? I take that back. The better term would be whiny.

Although my work load has been do-able, I have come to a new dilemma in life. I am not as awesome as I think I am. I know right? Somewhere along the way in my codependent existence, I learned to be fiercely independent. So independent that it hurts my pride to ask for help. While struggling to figure out this semester project I have to do, I've come to the realization that asking for help is going to be a necessity. I cannot do this alone.

I'm starting to think the process of this Master's thing isn't really going to be about stretching me academically. This is God's plan to stretch me spiritually and as a person in general. I'm going to have to humble myself and ask for help. I'm going to have to admit to God that I truly need Him because I am absolutely inadequate to do some of these things without some supernatural intervention.

So here I go. I'm going to STRETCH. It's going to hurt. I'm going to cry a lot. I will most likely do much whining. But in the end, God is going to stretch me. And in the end, I'm going to be more flexible, dexterous, and useful. And all other sorts of cool words ... and for Him. I hope.


Kass said...

Good post, Sizzle. You've been on my heart and mind today. Praying for you.

Emily said...

In the end, if you were ambidextrous, that would be awesome too. :) Love you.

Sizzledowski said...

Thanks, Kass.


Renee said...

Any work load added to teaching is a lot, no matter what anyone says. It will certainly stretch you. :-)