Dear Nike and Gatorade, and the rest of you

I'm a 4th grade teacher. I use your products. I wear your shoes and drink your drinks. Meanwhile, I spend my days impacting kids for life. I don't hit a golf ball or home runs, but I think I do something pretty darn important. And I just want to tell you that I'd be glad to represent your company, and I'd do it for a fraction of the cost you pay these high profile figures.