This week, I'm spending time in Illinois with my two brothers, my sister in law, and my two nieces. For Christmas, my mom and dad drove over from Michigan. I haven't told many dad stories in a while, so I figured to bring the post-Christmas cheer, I'd lay a few out here.
Yesterday, my dad says, "Hey, Jesse, I have an idea. I think you should save those boxes that your pop comes in. Then, after you guys all drink the pop, put the empties in the boxes and have Michael FedEx them to me. This helps both of us out." You see, in Michigan, there is a ten cent deposit/refund on pop cans.
Jesse replied, "So let me get this straight. You want me to buy the pop, do all the work of packaging the cans up, and then have Michael mail them to you so you can get the money for them?"
My dad responds, "Well, we can split the money."
I, of course, am in the other room, cracking up. The conversation continued on whether or not this operation was even legal; not that Jesse was even considering it, but for some reason we children have a hard time just letting things drop. I think we expect my dad to realize his own stupidity if we continue to engage the conversation. This never happens.
Anyway, my dad said, "I know it's illegal in Ohio, but I didn't know if it's different since we're two states over." Huh? Seriously? No, he can't be serious. But yes, he was.
Then last night, Sheri and I were sitting on the couch playing our games on the laptops when my dad walks in with a giant Tupperware container of sauerkraut. "Are you going to eat that whole thing, Dad?" I questioned. It was a leading question.
"No!" he responded.
"Then you can't eat out of the container!" So, what do you think he said? Guesses?
"Why not?" Huh? Was he serious? He was!
"Because it's not your house! You can't eat out of the container! You have to get your own bowl," I explained. Is this really something I should be explaining to a 61 year old man? Really? Well, I was.