I have a desire to follow God, but I end up looking at myself. I see my faults, my sins, my inabilities. I get easily discouraged because I put the focus on myself and my inadequacy.
This morning, I was listening to the Bible here. The story was one I'd heard since childhood, but God used it to speak to me from a new angle today. In Matthew 14, Jesus is speaking to a large group of people. The disciples come to him, suggesting they should leave soon.
Now when it was evening, the disciples came to him and said, “This is a desolate place, and the day is now over; send the crowds away to go into the villages and buy food for themselves.”
It reminded me of myself. I'm sitting here with God; I have the Holy Spirit within me, but I'm not thinking, He has all the power. I'm thinking, I don't have what I need. I can't do what needs to be done.
But Jesus said, “They need not go away; you give them something to eat.” They said to him, “We have only five loaves here and two fish.”
I look at myself, my abilities, and I do not feel that I am capable of doing what God has asked of me. Today, I am reminded that my responsibility is to obey. God will do what needs to be done through me, despite what little I think I have to give.
“Bring them here to me.” Then he ordered the crowds to sit down on the grass, and taking the five loaves and the two fish, he looked up to heaven and said a blessing. Then he broke the loaves and gave them to the disciples, and the disciples gave them to the crowds. And they all ate and were satisfied. And they took up twelve baskets full of the broken pieces left over.
The people were satisfied, not because the disciples had little to give, but because Jesus did a work that day.