Monday, April 21, 2008

Tears from the Heart

I just talked to my dad for 20 minutes. He's having a really rough time. He's in a depression. He says he'll be fine for a while, and then fall into the depression again. He was complaining about my mom, which isn't surprising. I get my negativity from her. He said no matter what he does to try to make her happy, she's always complaining. Even after going into rehab and working on being clean, my dad still gets whined at by mom. My dad says she's just like her mom, always finding some reason to complain, but not willing to do anything because she pretends she lives in her happy little imaginary world. I pray I don't ever turn in to her. But she used to say the same of me--that I always find things to complain about.

My dad mentioned he would like to find a new church, and that would totally anger my mother. Her loyalty is to that church (not to God) and pastor. I pray my dad will actually do that, and not just talk about it. We'll see. He also said he prays every night that God would just take him, but then he wakes up in the morning anyway. I hurt for my dad. I hurt for my mom. Sometimes life is just so messed up, and I know people choose their own paths, but still, that doesn't change the way we feel, especially the pain.

What does it take to find healing? How long do we have to cry out? Where is peace?

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